Now here's a reasonable two-legger. You can't get an answer if you don't ask. It may be unusual for cats to speak to humans, but it's also unusual for cats to have purple eyes. It doesn't usually take long for people to realize there's something strange about him.

He puts as much energy as possible into every pounce, leaping higher and coming down harder than necessary in an attempt to make up for his lack of activity indoors. He pauses in between jumps to answer.

"No," he says simply. The sound might be mistaken for a meow, but it's certainly and clearly a human word.